Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day '08!

Avast me mateys and no-count scaliwags alike!
This 'er be "Talk Like A Pirate Day!"
So git to talkin'! Arrr!

Sept. 19th (ever' turnin' of t'season's) be International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

An' that be today if ye be readin' this today, if 'tis nay today then shame on ye fer nay readin' this won'rful blog ever' tide o' th' week!! arrr! But read 't anyway or I swear t' Wodan ye will keel haul th' plank!

So ye be probably wonderin' why ye ortin' ta talk like a pirate today. Starboard?

If so... ye must ben at th' grog too long! arrr! Any old landlubber knows that!

T' get th' buxom beauties! Aye th' babes! An' the gold I'll grant... but motly the babes!

What lass (er lad fer that matter), whether a beauty or a bilgie can resist a pirate's charms, good looks and body smell? We're hot (and stinky)! Jus' eyeball me photo above n'see!

Aye aye I know we be havin' t' be politically correct these days so guys ye canna jus' grab some beauty like in th' old days an' brin' onto yer ship fer a wee bit o'fun! They'd keel haul ye fer Friya's sake! That be nay allowed these days! So here's th' trick...

Use what we pirate's call a come-on line. If ye do 't starboard maybe she will take ye aboard th' ship her own self! Lasses be liberated these days and some be mighty will'n with a bit o' pirate talk'n!

An' dasn't forget ye fair ladies can also pick up th' men these days too jus like it be Saddie Hawkins Day (this be usually easier than th' other way since we men be geared that way anyhow)!

An' if ye be one o' them swashbucklers what has what we call th' limp wrist, nerefear! These tried an' true pick-up lines work on 'dem same-gender oriented swabbies too!

So here they be, John Baur an' Mark Summers

Top Ten Pickup lines fer use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins. 7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you. 6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon. 5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole? 4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder? 3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free. 2. Well blow me down? And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is … 1. Prepare to be boarded.


Arr with lines like these ye can'na miss to fire off yer blunderbuss!

So what kind o' a Pirate be ye?

Ya scurvy cur whut deserves the black spot!

I be:

You are The Quartermaster

You, me hearty, are a man or woman of action! And what action it is! Gruesome, awful, delightful action. You mete out punishment to friend and foe alike – well, mostly to foe, because your burning inner rage isn’t likely to draw you a whole lot of the former. Still, though you may be what today is called “high maintenance” and in the past was called "bat-shit crazy," the crew likes to have you around because in a pinch your maniacal combat prowess may be the only thing that saves them from Jack Ketch. When not in a pinch, the rest of the crew will goad you into berserker mode because it’s just kind of fun to watch. So you provide a double service – doling out discipline AND entertainment.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?

brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

So if ye haven't picked up yer special someone yet and ye be bored ye may be wonderin' about th' origins o' International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Well... I be nay goin' t' tell ye! Arr I got me own sweetie t' attend t'! But ye can find ou' by goin' here (click this thang!).


'Tis a glorious turn 'o tide an' I use 't reckon th' old pirates o' th' Silicon Valley what got us all on these here computers thingies in th' first place, scurvie dogs that they be! But 't can be anythin' ye scallywags want as long as ye be havin' fun, else ya ortin' t' be keel hauled!

So enjoy yersef t'day or I swear t' Wodan an' all th' gods o' Valhalla I'll be havin' ye on th' plank ya bilge rat whut deserves the black spot