Saturday, July 31, 2010

Finding Mr. Right in a World of Mr. Wrongs

So, she is 21 years old.
She believes in Y'shua.
And she decides its time to begin serious dating.

What's you advice?
Please share your advise in the comments section below.

Here's a few of my thoughts:

There are several important things to consider when dating.

# 1 Is he a Believer? We are commanded in Scripture to only marry (hence date) in the faith (II Corinthians 6:14).

# 2 Is he serious about his faith? Will he encourage you in your faith?

If the answer to either of these is no then you should not date him, regardless of his appearance, social standing, money etc.

# 3 It is your life and at this point your options are probably pretty much wide open.
If you wish to marry a person with certain looks that is your choice. Discretion and high standards are certainly not a sin.

HOWEVER consider why you want this. Looks fade with time and some very evil people have been very physically appealing while some wonderful men have been less appealing. The person's integrity, faithfulness to God, devotion to you and your possible children should you choose to marry is far more important than fleeting looks.

My advise is to step back a bit and consider the larger picture. You are no longer a teenager. Having a good looking guy on your arm for the prom is one thing, but at 21 you are probably considering something more real and permanent.

Is the prospective man dependable? Does he respect you as a person (beyond the early relationship "blind adoration")? Do you share the same basic world views (or are you at least compatible in your differences)? Will he take responsibility to provide for the family as a good husband and father? Do you have similar life views (where you want to go in the future, compatible hopes and dreams, do you both want a family? How about living in the country, the city, etc. Compatibility of future goals). How about his temper and self control? Do you believe he will be faithful to you?... These are the sorts of questions to focus on in my opinion. You will be far happier with a less attractive man who truly loves you than you will be with a stud who truly loves himself.

Also consider that even as being attractive does not one a good person neither does being unattractive. If you are repulsed by someone's looks it will be difficult to develop a relationship. So... the point is... find Mr. Right but consider broadening your definitions a bit. Love is a many faceted jewel.

And pray for God to lead you always.

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