Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Does the Bible Require Marriage?

Another Q & A
What's your understanding/opinion about this?

Questioner: Ricky
Private: no
Subject: Confusion About Marriage
Question:
Charles F. Pfeiffer, et al (editors) Wycliffe Bible Encyclopedia

Moody Press, Chicago, 1975, page 1082

Marriage is nothing but a cival contract, and the actually intercourse is the combination of two as one?
Romans 12:17 . . . Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
2 Corinthians 8:21 For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of men.

1 Thessalonians 4:12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders . . .

So we don't have to go through marriage, but we DO have to go through marriage because people want us to? >.<
Note: How did I get on this marriage stuff anyway? I was just trying to see if pre-marital sex was a sin. >.<
http://net-burst.net/singles/premarital.htm#morality < CONFUSING SITE!!!
Note: I still don't know the answer to my question >.< going back to Ask.com
http://www.teachingpages.co.uk/topicPresentation/articlePremaritalSexPart1 < Also uses scriptures to hint that it is the intercourse that is the bond and not the actual marriage! What is the real answer? Provide scriptures, please, these guys did. Is it the ceremony, or the action that is the real union?

My reply:
Hi Ricky,

A large portion of our traditions are just that, traditions, however biblically speaking marriage is much more than simply a civil contract. It is a holy state of life.

The Bible does support the institution of marriage. For instance:

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

This and similar verses make it plain that marriage is more than just tradition or an attempt to appease others, as this poor paraphrase of Romans 12:17 implies.

Another consideration here is the version of the Bible you are using. The NIV (which I believe is the one you are using) is not based on the Textus Receptus (the received texts) upon which the Christian religion was established. I discuss this inferior paraphrase (its not even a translation of its own deficient texts and source materials) here: http://www.allfaith.com/Religions/Christianity/kingjames.html

Romans 12:17, as presented here, sounds terrible. Here is that verse in the Authorized King James:

17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

This doesn't mean to be an appeaser, it simply means that as a Believer one should seek to live an honorable lifestyle.

The Mormon belief in eternal marriage that transcends death is clearly unbiblical:

Luke 20:34 And Jesus answered and said to them, "The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage.
35 "But those who are counted worthy to attain that age, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage.

Again,

Psalm 78:63 The fire consumed their young men, And their maidens were not given in marriage.

This lack of marriage in the present world is presented as a bad thing even though in the coming world of the Kingdom marriage, as we know it, will cease to exist. Marriage is, biblically speaking, a holy estate. Those who would be leaders in the Church are commanded to be the husbands of one wife (I Tim 3:2,12 and Titus 1:6).

Marriage is used as the example of God's relationship with Israel.

Jer 31:32 not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the Lord.

And Jesus' relationship with the Church, where he is described as the bridegroom to the bride, the Church.

The question is, what makes a marriage? Here the Bible is largely mute. It seems to be question of cultural norms. Jesus attended the wedding feast in Cana which was quite a bit party (Matt 22) and uses the wedding night as an example of properly watching and watching for the coming of Messiah (Matt 25:10, Luke 12:36 etc).

On the other hand, marriages are sometimes presented as very simple acts of sexual union:

Gen 24:67 Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.

From a social/cultural point of view, marriage offers arguably important legal and financial protections for people, especially for women and kids, but biblically speaking marriage as an institution is ours to define. Going by this verse, a committed Christian couple could justifiably 'pledge their trove' to one another and to God, make love, and then declare themselves married.

The New Testament does forbid marriage with non-believers (II Cor 6:14). Jewish tradition requires Jews to only marry Jews.

On the other hand, Paul argues that for those who wish to fully serve God it would be preferable not to marry. In this well know clause however there is an important caveat regarding your question:

I Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

Obviously sexual relations outside of marriage are regarded as fornication and/or adultery and condemned, even if done in secret (ie more is present in these teachings that merely appeasing the societal views of others).

3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.

Sexuality in the marriage bed is hence viewed as an obligation for the Believer, not merely an allowance. Married people are directly commanded to (try to) satisfy the sexual needs and urges of their spouse. But notice what comes next.

7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself [ie single, Paul was probably a widower at this point). But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Again, if the Believers can handle celibacy that is the preferred course according to Paul, if they can not, they should marry. Sexual relationships outside of marriage are forbidden.

10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.
13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

This is important. Not only is marriage "holy" it sanctifies both the partner and the children.

So, this is my opinion.

Put more succinctly, marriage is a biblically approved institution and for most people a mandated state of life-long monogamy.

"Legal marriage" is not required, although it is advisable for various reasons. Biblical marriage occurs between two committed people in the sight of God. The rest is tradition and culture.

Hope this helps,
~John of AllFaith



Me performing the marriage rite for two wonderful people.

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