Friday, February 27, 2009

Interesting Glen Beck -- Chuck Norris Conversation

Part One

Part Two

This is a rush transcript from "Glenn Beck," February 26, 2009. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GLENN BECK, HOST: This show is insane, and I very well may be insane as well. I just don't know why people watch this show, but thank you for doing so.

Let's see. We've talked about the spending. We've had a gun expert on. We yelled at a senator, and now we got Chuck Norris here. Hey, Chuck, how are you, man?

CHUCK NORRIS, AUTHOR, "BLACK BELT PATRIOTISM": Doing great, Glenn. Thanks.

BECK: Good. Martial arts expert, TV star — you know. I'm going to tell you, if he was here, I would take him down with a chop to the neck. Also author of the best-selling book, "Black Belt Patriotism."

Chuck, we just had Scott, a gun store owner and we were talking about guns. And I know the blogs are going, "He made his kid cry, you know, having a gun." There is something to be said for the independents, not even with a gun, but just like with you. I mean, your whole body is a weapon, as is mine.

Why is everybody laughing like that? I could take you out. So there is something to be said — this is really obnoxious, how hard everybody is laughing.

NORRIS: Well, you'd better stop eating those cupcakes and all those M & M's, Glenn.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That's what I'm saying.

(LAUGHTER)

BECK: You want a piece of me, Norris? Come on, brother!

(LAUGHTER)

NORRIS: There is something to be said about what, Glenn?

BECK: There is something to be said about the independent feeling of being able to be self-reliant, to be able to protect yourself, and be independent, is there not?

NORRIS: Well, yes. The whole thing is that's the Second Amendment — the Second Amendment. The final line in the Second Amendment says, "The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

That means not by the president, not by Congress. They are not allowed to take our rights away with this because of the Second Amendment, Glenn. And the thing is, I have a 700-acre ranch in Texas. And I have a lot of guns on my ranch.

I don't use them for hunting. I'm not a hunter. But the thing is, it's for protection. And the Second Amendment was designed for tyranny against the government. If the government decides to become a tyrannical government, our guns are to protect us against that. And that's really what the Second Amendment is all about, Glenn.

BECK: So you know, here is the thing, Chuck. You know, the government doesn't want us to have weapons and yet, they have weapons. I think the biggest weapon they have is the IRS. Nobody even understands. I just — I read a letter from ...

NORRIS: You're hitting a real sore point with me right there.

BECK: They can use taxes as a weapon, and the IRS code that that you can't even figure out — am I wrong on that?

NORRIS: No, the thing is that you are guilty until proven innocent with the IRS, the only law where you're guilty until proven innocent. The whole thing is with the IRS Tax code — you know, I heard on your show, the guy says like, 40,000 pages in the IRS. It's 66,498 pages in the IRS Tax code, Glenn.

BECK: OK.

NORRIS: Now, who in the world knows what's in all those pages? I mean, there’s a thousand pages in the stimulus.

BECK: All right. Hey, hey. Norris, Norris, Norris!

NORRIS: Yes.

BECK: Pipe down before I take your neck and go —

NORRIS: Hey, you're rubbing off on me, Glenn.

BECK: I mean — like that. On the other side of the break. Back in a second.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECK: Back with us once again is Chuck Norris, actor, martial arts expert and author of the best-selling — I think he's making fun of me. Come on, Norris. Come on. I'll take you on.

NORRIS: No, this is calming me down. I'm calmer now. This is calming me down. No. This is calming me down.

BECK: Don't screw with me, Norris. Don't do it.

NORRIS: I'm not screwing with you, Glenn. Truthfully, this is what I do eat, honest to God, I do. I really do.

BECK: You know what it is? This is like nature's Prozac. Well, not nature's Prozac, but pretty close to it. It's got sugar in it. I think sugar is made by God. I'm not sure.

NORRIS: But seriously, Glenn, we do need a fair tax in our country.

BECK: Tell me about it.

NORRIS: We need a fair tax to get the three million manufacturing jobs that are outsourced to other countries to bring them back into our economy, the $17 trillion that are being hidden in offshore accounts by the super-rich. They can bring that all back into our economy, so the Fair Tax is (UNINTELLIGIBLE) should get involved in.

BECK: Chuck, you never — I'd love to. Thank you for inviting me. Tell me this, they're never going to do it, because then they lose their — look, once you get into office, all you care about is getting re-elected. That's all you care about. And to get re-elected, you need to do special favors for everybody, so you lose your ability to do special favors.

NORRIS: Yes, but Glenn, that's what you're saying. The people have got to make this happen. Government is never going to do it. The thing is that we, the people, have got to be the ones that make these changes in our country.

BECK: Let me ask you this honest question — do you think the people of the United States are courageous? I've got a monologue on this on tomorrow night's television show.

Do you think we're courageous enough and responsible enough to take control of our own lives, and our own country now?

NORRIS: Well, the thing is why is your show such a high-rated show, Glenn? Because people are concerned about what's going on in our country. They're listening to you. You're our crusader.

(LAUGHTER)

BECK: That shows just how low our standards are.

NORRIS: No, I'm being serious here. I'm being serious, Glenn. You are — you are the crusader that we're all looking for to help make these positive changes in our society. And someone has to lead the pack, and I believe you're the one who's leading the pack. And I'm serious about this.

BECK: Well, I appreciate that. But I will tell you this, I just talked to my radio audience today about this, that everybody has to find their own voice because we are entering times where you have to know as an individual what you believe in.

And you've got to unite with your own family and neighbors and everything else. You know we're doing a special on March 13...

NORRIS: Yes, I do know.

BECK: On the values and the principles. That's what — you just need to bring your neighbors together. You need to bring your friends together and you need to start meeting and talking about the news and how to solve the problems that we're facing and what do we do to be able to restore our country.

NORRIS: Well, the thing is that we have to lead these people toward that, Glenn. The thing is, you know, we had such poor leadership for so long in our country, that we've got to get back to strong leadership that believes in the same principles we do, Glenn.

And we don't have that yet, Glenn. That's why, you know, I have a joke, Glenn. You know, these Chuck Norris facts that are circulating throughout the world?

BECK: I don't know that.

NORRIS: One of the Chuck — have you ever heard of them?

BECK: No.

(LAUGHTER)

BECK: Yes, I have! I hear your tears cure cancer. Too bad you don't cry.

NORRIS: No, no, no, listen. America is not a democracy. It is a Chuck-tatorship. If that was true — if that was true, I would go to Washington. I'd line up every member of Congress, and I'd have Ron Paul, who's probably one of the more honest men in Washington — I'd say, "Ron, point out the honest politicians and dishonest politicians."

(LAUGHTER)

BECK: I don't know.

NORRIS: As we're walking down the line, he would say, "He's honest, he's honest, he's dishonest." I would walk up to him and say "You're fired." And if he didn't move immediately, I would choke him unconscious and drag him over to the pile.

(LAUGHTER)

BECK: OK. OK. All right. Chuck Norris. Thanks a lot. We will talk to you again, my friend.


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